Happy and Sad, with Ramblings

I'm having conflicting emotions at the moment.

On the one hand, I'm happy because "I'm found!" (see last post). I talked to Joanna over lunch, and we thought that Fairies would be a good topic to write about for my Occult paper. I also have a topic for my German cinema paper: Sunset Boulevard directed by Billy Wilder. I love that movie. So that's the good stuff. . .

On the other hand, I have so much crap to do for school, it's not even funny. And it's due by Friday, and Joanna has to write a paper for tomorrow night's class, so I won't get any computer time until I take her to school (Not that I'm blaming you for this, Joanna, but it does suck having only one computer for two very computer-needy people). On top of this mess, I just watched nearly all of the most depressing and graphic movies I've ever seen. It was The Passion of the Christ. I missed the beginning, since I had to practice with the choir for Sunday, but I saw most of it, and I'm still pretty moved by it. I don't know if I'd watch it again, simply because it's such a heavy, graphic film.

Speaking of being moved by things, music is amazing. I can watch the saddest thing on tv and not cry, but throw in some heartwrenching music and I'm a goner. Things that really get to me: children singing, SATB choirs a capella, sweeping melodies (the melody usually jumping from I to VI), and unrequited-love songs in musicals. One thing that has gotten to me recently, and every time I hear it, I want to cry because it's so pretty, is Nessun Dorma sung by Sarah Brightman on her Classics CD. At the very end of the song, she sings the last note with no background, it's just her, and then the orchestra and voices come sweeping back in with the melody. The chorus's last note is a capella as well *goosebumps!*, before the orchestra comes back for the final emphatic chord.

I don't know what it is about music, but it moves me. It can make me cry, it can make me smile, it can make me laugh. . . Music is just amazing, and I can not imagine life, not just my life, but Life in general without it.

I'm lost!

I have no clue what to do my paper on for Literature and the Occult. I've thought of a couple of things, but when I go and look them up online, I get a creepy feeling. I've tried music and the occult, and came up with heavy metal/rock, and all of the drug-using/satanist groups you can think of. I just recently tried Masonry and the Occult, and got hateful pages about how Masonry is a cult promoting the work of Satan. I also tried Tarot cards, which we discussed in class today. The top five hits were for free readings, but the sixth was an information page about the Tarot. I might go with that, but I don't know if that's a broad enough topic for a paper. . . I don't know what to do. Everything I've researched gives me the heebie-jeebies.

I'll just have to bug Joanna about what to do. :-P

Draw a Pig Personality Test

http://drawapig.desktopcreatures.com/gallery/large.asp?id=1020181&p=0&hof=1&q=personality+test http://drawapig.desktopcreatures.com/gallery/2006/4/11/1020181.jpg Click to view my test results!

This is the link to see my pig, and I hope it works! I don't think my results matched me at all. Well, that's a lie, some of them did, but some of them did not. Anyway, try it and see what you get!

Is It Summer Already?

It's so hot in here! Our air conditioning has been broken for a few weeks now (I think). It doesn't feel too terribly bad in the morning right after we get up, but as the day wears on, it gets hotter and hotter. By the time we go to bed at night, it's stifling! We're trying to keep as many lights off as we can, and keep the fans on as high as we can (though mine wobbles a lot at medium or high speed), but it doesn't seem to help much. On the bright side, as Joanna pointed out, our electric bill will be very low this month! Poor Joanna, she can't stand hot weather. This is the woman who wants to move to Alaska! I personally can not stand cold weather, but having the house at at least 75 degrees would be nice. . . If I wanted to sweat like a pig right after I got up in the morning, I'd join marching band again! ;-) Hope y'all are cooler than we are right now!

Quizilla

I couldn't post my results, but maybe it'll let me post the actual quiz. . .
http://www.quizilla.com/users/imbugabooin/quizzes/Which%20Character%20from%20the%20Book%20%26lt%3Bi%26gt%3BWicked%3A%20The%20Life%20and%20Times%20of%20the%20Wicked%20Witch%20of%20the%20West%26lt%3B%5Ci%26gt%3B%20Are%20You%20the%20Most%20Lik

Anonymous Nessarose

I don't think anyone has ever come to my blog. This place is too big for anyone to know I'm here. Even if they did, I have no way of knowing because they don't comment. The only people who know I have this are whoever decides to check my profile on a couple sites I frequent and a couple family members who don't come here anyway. . .

It's pretty sad to know that you're completely alone on the internet. You can do anything on here and no one knows you exist.

Just thought I'd comment on my own alone-ness.

Picture

All alone and loveless here

Just the girl in the mirror

Just her and me

The Wicked Witch of the East

We deserve each other. . .

Musical theatre

This is obvious, but I love musicals!! The first professional musical I saw live was "The Phantom of the Opera" in 10th grade. I've seen it a few more times since, and I've also seen "Cats" four or five times (once on Broadway!), "Les Miserables" a few times, and "Beauty and the Beast" once. Oh, and of course. . . "WICKED"!!! :-D

I love the secondary characters in musicals (B&tB being an exception). Meg in "Phantom", Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer in "Cats", Eponine and Javert in "Les Miz", and Nessarose and Boq in "Wicked". If my sisters and I decide to go out for Halloween, we're gonna go as the three witches from "Wicked", Joanna and Jackie being either Glinda or Elphaba, and me being Nessa. That will be so much fun!

I think working in the theatre would be the best job ever! Rehearsing every day, doing what you love, wearing nifty costumes, getting the thrill of performing night after night for an audience who paid to be there. . . That would be the life! I would love to be in the theatre, if only in a small part, maybe in the ensemble. That would be my dream job. I know it's not all sunshine and roses; there will be people you have to work with that you can't stand, hard days rehearsing, some things that don't go over well in a show, but that's life, too. Nothing can go perfectly, I realize that. But to work in the theatre. . . *sigh* I would be so happy. I often imagine what it would be like to be on stage, with hundreds of people watching me, doing something and doing it well. It makes me smile. But then I also realize that I'm a triple-non-threat: can't sing, dance, or act. I like to think I can sing decently. I mean, I'm no Sarah Brightman or Idina Menzel, but I can carry a tune, and I'm sure I could get better with coaching. I know for a fact that I can't dance. I'm too stiff. I can march, though! Nine years of marching band! Woo! Anyway, I'm sure that could be better with some coaching as well. . . And acting, well, I act when I sing, does that count? I'm sure I could do it with (you guessed it!) a little coaching. If I had nothing else going on in my life to where I could devote it solely to an aspiring theatre career, I would be so good! I betcha I would! I wouldn't delude myself by moving to New York or anything like that. I'd audition for small community theatres where I live, hoping for a small part and build credibility that way. I could just see myself doing well! :-) But I also know that everyone else who has ever seen or heard a musical or play has had the exact same thought as well. I'd have no chance. I'm not good enough to play in the orchestra for a musical; those are all freelance musicians who play multiple instruments and practice 8 hours a day because they have nothing else to do!

And now I'm typing myself into depression because I'm thinking of things I can never do. I'll quit while I'm ahead and leave it at that.